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Love and forgiveness quotes attributed to Kathy Carlton Willis & Bryant H. McGill

SAN ANGELO – Every year on New Year's Day we all make resolutions, that is a promise to ourselves or a decision to do something; particularly when it comes to improve one's behavior or lifestyle in one way or another.
As the New Year 2019 is already into the early days of its chapter, I made a commitment, not a resolution, both from a personal and professional standpoint.

On a personal level, I had to move on from the loss of my beloved, mom, Ermelinda Camarillo Sanchez. I closed that chapter which has been one of the most difficult in my life. It will never, ever be the same without her. Now it is no longer about my life but about carrying on her legacy for her family—the Sanchez and two other families: Samarripa/Samaripa’s. The divine path that has been made clear and set before me is to do what the Lord and she would have wanted me to do, which involves:  re-commitment to my faith in Christ. Also, equally involved in this spiritual equation is love and forgiveness, commitment to my family. And, stay committed to my real friends.

First, re-commit or rather a better word is to rededicate my life to Christ--make him Lord. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior in 1978. But only made Him, Lord about six years ago when our beloved sister, Rose Sánchez-Samaripa, passed away on March 10, 2012. After her death, I made up my mind that never again on my watch would I take my family for granted. I started to spend more time with my Mom and sister. As a result, those two twin towers-- love and forgiveness from the "life of Christ" in her earthen vessel began to take root in mine.

I confess openly and honestly that I have failed recently within the past month on these two traits. I stumbled badly to the point where I have hurt some new-found friends along the way. I allowed the flesh to get the best of me. Having said that, I accept full responsibility for my flawed human behavior, which is that I am too passionate, act too quickly to befriend and get disappointed when those whom I thought were true friends and new ones don't stick around.

I admit, own it and will not excuse, justify my actions nor behavior on how I have I treated those whom I considered my friends. Hopefully, those whom I have offended may forgive me for putting my expectations on them. I would like to start over again because if there is one thing I don’t want to lose, is my friends whom the Lord gave me.
I Realize I come across too honest and yes blunt at times when I expect from friends to extend to me the same human dignity, respect, true friendship that I give them. Maybe it's because they can’t give me what they don’t have. Maybe I should be gracious enough to allow them to grow in that area as the Lord was gracious to me.
The following quote from famous movie star, Marilyn Monroe, fits me when it comes to being a human with imperfect flaws.
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best,” Marilyn Monroe.

I failed and will ask for forgiveness from those I have hurt when the time comes to address it with them in person. While I have failed at times and confess my faults, I more than often do live my Christian life based on biblical spiritual precepts that the Lord spoke into my life for growth and development.

The following abstract precepts are how I have attempted to live my rededicated life/ and commitment to Christ, toward my family and my friends. These powerful quotes came as I spent time with the Lord in past years to live my life, not just by what I say but what I actually do. In other words, my actions and words are one and the same.

• “Don’t tell me you love me, show me.”
• “I don’t go by what you say, I go by what you do.” “Because what you do, speaks far more than what you say.”
• “Forgiveness is not an option, it is a commandment!” “Forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you to keep your relationship open before the Lord.”
• God desires truth in my innermost being (Psalm 51:6). If I can’t be totally transparent with Him, then what makes me think I will be honest with those close to me.

Believe it or not I am coming to a close. I hold myself accountable to several people in my life [sister, and one of best friends—Ann; the two others were Mom and sister, Rose] who loved me the most to tell me the truth. The reason one should hold themselves accountable is because we all have blind spots, flaws. If I do hold myself accountable to those who really love me enough to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:25, KJV), then I am better off in moving forward, both relationally and professionally. But if not, then I not only suffer the consequences for the mistake I make with someone, or others but my loved loved ones suffer as well. Why, because self sat on the throne and made the wrong decision! Which is what I did to some of my friends in 2018.

In closing, I am 64-years-young. My dad and my hero, Jimmy Sanchez, Sr. passed away at the age of 70 which is still young. Mom passed away on July 19, 2018. When I die, there is a tombstone with a dash that represents the beginning and the end of my life. The first dash represents my date of birth, November 28, 1954. The second one will be my date of death.

"This hourglass I call my life has only so much sand left at the top before it runs out at the bottom."

"My life has an expiration date, which is a beginning and an end called a dash." 

How I choose to live my life is called the in-between. I have decided to live in between the dash in 2019 to the glory of God. Whatever time I have left is to be lived with hopefully no regrets and on God’s terms, His commandments. I want to have my bags packed should I be called home ahead of schedule.

So, the bottom line to all this is—live my life in such a way that I make each day better for someone along the way of my departure to be with Christ. To take up my cross and deny myself.

If I do that, then along the way I will honor my parents and a beloved sister who went before me. Because they left me in a far better place in life to finish my course for my/ their family. I’m not taking anything with me, so I need to finish what my parents started in my families’ lives and my most close friends--a legacy of love and forgiveness.