Flaco Guapo Media
SAN ANGELO – "Image is everything" is a phrase that was introduced in the advertising world in 1989. Keeping that in mind, as I was surveying online female profiles, [yes I will put it out there, I was interested in dating]. The dating site was Match.com, which I will never, ever recommend but that is a story for another time. I noticed a trend in that the majority of the female profiles had in common—all of them dwelt on their "image is everything" characteristics. Here’s a sampling of some posted profiles.
”I am a compassionate person” “I’m smart, sexy, attractive,” “loyal, fun, caring, great personality,” “active, serve on many boards, involved with the homeless in our community, confident, self-assured, positive person.”
After a sampling of 39 female profiles, I found one person who was honest enough to list her imperfections. I don’t necessarily think these other females left out this particular flaw, maybe they just didn’t consider it.
I wrote a love poem that paints a portrait of our imperfect selves “When it comes to life and love, hey—we’re all flawed, our weaknesses needing to be airbrushed and glossed.” I was curious as to what airbrush meant. Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “to paint with or modify, or as with an airbrush, esp. in order to hide flaws or improve the appearance of a photograph, film, etc.” Oftentimes that’s what a photographer will do is modify the photo to hide a person’s flaws while improving their appearance; thus the person looks better in photos than in person.
I get it that we all want to put ourselves in a better light. The problem is that we risk the likelihood of disappointing the other person when we meet because those extrinsic adjectives we listed about ourselves won’t measure up. Or rather those touched up photos don't look anything like the person we just met. When I looked at my profile again, I too was guilty of profiling only the good. And no, I’m certainly not advocating that one list all of their flawed idiosyncrasies.
However, there comes a time in a person’s life when they must be comfortable enough in their skin to live with their imperfections. The key to being a secure person isn’t wrapped up necessarily in physical traits; such as "drop-dead gorgeous" Gina who is five-foot-two, eyes of blue, six-pack abs or "pearlie whites." If that were true, why do beautiful people, still feel insecure about themselves despite those physical attributes? Being secure comes from acceptance of even in those minute imperfections that we keep trying to “airbrush” over. Now me, Flaco Guapo. I'm one svelte, "burning hunk of love." Or as I like to put it when I bring my "A" game, "them Chippendales ain't gotten nothing on this male revenue show,'CHIPMONK""
When I was on a date with a beautiful female (uh, it’s still called a date if the man pays, right), she told me something interesting about an imperfection that she struggled with as a young person. She has a great smile, but with a noticeable, slight gap in her teeth. She finally realized that imperfection was a part of who she was; she got it! She accepted that about herself. On the other hand, her contemporary females are still struggling with trying to get it all together. We should embrace our imperfections, rather than look at them as negative attributes. Me, I'm good to go with my handsome, rugged "non-alpha" male looks, oh yeah! When I take a selfie I tell myself "Selfie, selfie on the wall, dang, I'm the best looking of them all!" And remember I am a reporter so that's my story and I'm sticking by it.
I believe that’s what wrong with our society to a large degree with that phrase, "image is everything." We are all looking for the “perfect 10 person.” Trust me you 21st century millennials, [hate to burst your bubble, young ladies ] but no one is a perfect 10. BTW, there was a movie done in 1979 called "10." The beautiful actress was Bo Derek. To this day even though she is still gorgeous, you can see there are wrinkles on her face. I am sure that doesn't bother her in the least.
It’s actually O.K. for both gender, to list a few flaws in their online profile. Otherwise, either side will start to wonder if you’re "all that and a bag of chips" then what are you doing on a dating website? While on the subject of imperfect relationships, here's a great quote along those lines. “If I were perfect, would I be here? By the same token, would you."
So, I decided to mention a few of my "perfect" imperfections. I'm just like any other person, would prefer not to put down on paper what their flaws are, much less see them posted online. However, one important trait that is a must for me and I require in the object of my affection is—honesty.
So here is a minutia of my imperfections. I like to sleep in on weekends, stay up late. When I get busy working on my assignments for my website, "oops I did it again" forget that I've got something cooking on the stove (“what’s that I smell burning?”). And, on days not when I am not scheduled to work, I am not as motivated to get going anywhere sooner.
So, what purpose does it serve to list those “ugly little, I didn't read the fine print imperfections” during the early stages of the so-called “love-is-blind-dating game?”
Come now, we’ve all been there and done that. We’ve tried to impress that other “special” person whom we set our "crosshairs" on. There are several perfectly, good reasons for either gender to be completely honest with one’s imperfections. One, the fact you can be comfortable in your own skin. Second, once you’re honest with self, the pressure’s off to try to perform or impress. It’s better to be who you are, rather than trying to be someone else.
It is best to work on our shortcomings (imperfections) before getting married. In conclusion, if you are currently in a dating phase, now is the perfect time to work on you. That way the person interested in you has more than potential, as opposed to trying to work on those imperfections after marriage, when it will be too late.
A male or female, aware of their imperfections, who didn’t try to airbrush (hide their imperfections) but address those negative flaws by working on self—that is a person worth pursing.
“True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”-Jason Jordan